Playing Spoiler with the Christmas Secularists

Leafing through the Jackson and Perkins catalog I stumbled across this ad for mailing a live, fully decorated CHRISTMAS tree. Only they didn't call it a CHRISTMAS tree--big mistake. I have taken to my bed after too much action on Thanksgiving. That gives me time on my hands and a 'tude to match!

ORIGINAL AD FOR "HOLIDAY" TREE

Perfectly decorated live trees, right out of the box! Our live holiday trees are beautifully pre-decorated with handcrafted ornaments and lights, ready to display the moment they arrive.

Subject: Customer ServiceTopic: Product information

Dear Jackson & Perkins:

'The correct term is CHRISTMAS TREE. Your offensive use of 'holiday' tree turned me off completely on ordering one of your CHRISTMAS trees for my mother. You are doing your own sales department a disservice in trying to re-name such a traditional custom for this time of year.When you change from your misguided sense of what is "PC", I might consider buying CHRISTMAS gifts from your company.

Sincerely,

Toc

Dear Toc,

Jackson and Perkins Thank you so much for contacting us here at Jackson and Perkins! We value our customers’ comments and questions highly, and we appreciate hearing from you.We often refer to the holidays as the gift-giving season from Thanksgivings to New Year. Because of this extended period of time, you may find items offered as holiday gifts or Christmas gifts. In our most recent newsletter, you will find both terms used. It was not our intention to offend any of our customers.

Again, thank you for writing to us. If you have any further questions or comments, please do not hesitate to contact us. To help us serve you better, please use the Reply button to respond so that all previous communications will be included. Thank you for gardening with Jackson and Perkins!

Angie Jackson and Perkins Customer Contact Team2

I see they use the auto-response generator to placate customers. I will point this out to them.

Subject: Re: Feedback Form for JacksonAndPerkins

Dear Angie,

No one in the world uses a "holiday" tree except for a CHRISTMAS tree. That's my objection--that's the reason I will not buy one from you. A holiday turkey? OK. A holiday decoration? OK. But it is a CHRISTMAS tree!!!! No other holiday uses one!

The main function of language--except for politicians--is to clarify. It is always preferable to use a more specific word rather than a word that "fogs" the meaning. Christmas is more specific than holiday. What you are selling is a tree for Christmas--not for any other occasion. So, I repeat--I find your unwillingness to use the word 'Christmas'--especially in this context--offensive and I refuse to purchase one for my mother.

Sincerely,

Toc

From Jackson & Perkins

Dear Cynthia,(WHO IS CYNTHIA? My name is Toc)

Thank you for your reply. These trees are most often Christmas trees on our web site. Our newsletters may say holiday gifts and trees or Christmas gifts and trees. I'm sorry to learn that you were offended by our use of the tern holiday tree. It was not our intention to be offensive in any way.

Again, thank you for writing to us. If you have any further questions or comments, please do not hesitate to contact us. To help us serve you better, please use the Reply button to respond so that all previous communications will be included. Thank you for gardening with Jackson and Perkins!

EvaJ ackson and Perkins Customer Contact Team2

Dear Eva

You must be getting more complaints about your use of "holiday" trees than just my emails. You just sent me the same automated response--which is to say--a non-response. So much for how you deal with your customers. If you are generating enough negative response to your use of "holiday" tree, isn't that a hint to your marketing department that they are offending a significant part of your customer base?

Sincerely,

Toc

Apparently Eva decided the correspondence was over for now. But encouraging news! Today's mail brought my WE SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS bumper sticker that I got on Ebay.

Happy Thanksgiving

General Thanksgiving

By the PRESIDENT of the United States Of America
A PROCLAMATION

WHEREAS it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favour; and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me "to recommend to the people of the United States a DAY OF PUBLICK THANKSGIVING and PRAYER, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:"

NOW THEREFORE, I do recommend and assign THURSDAY, the TWENTY-SIXTH DAY of NOVEMBER next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed;-- for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish Constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted;-- for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge;-- and, in general, for all the great and various favours which He has been pleased to confer upon us.

And also, that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions;-- to enable us all, whether in publick or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shewn kindness unto us); and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best.

GIVEN under my hand, at the city of New-York, the third day of October, in the year of our Lord, one thousand seven hundred and eighty-nine.

(signed) G. Washington
Source: The Massachusetts Centinel, Wednesday, October 14, 1789

To Catch a Rat

The "basement" must be cleaned out. We don't have real basements in California but it's a space under the house with a wooden floor and you can stand up in it. Over the years the boxes have done that entropy thing that junk does so well and we've noticed signs of mice--which is just a nice word for rats.

Setting a standard SNAP mouse trap is beyond my technical ability--remember the iPod??? So I thought a simple Google search might reveal if there has been a better mousetrap invented.

I discovered a new world!! One side of this world is occupied by homeopathic Rat Remedies that will only discourage our little friends to go elsewhere. The other side is populated by Rambos who take the dispatching of rats very seriously. Here is a sampling of the products I found.

Victor Electronic Rat Trap

3 plate design reduces escapes, providing a 90% kill rate

Applies 8,500 volts to kill even large rats

Green indicator light flashes for up to 24 hours indicating a kill;

Red indicator light flashes when batteries are low

One set of 4 "C" batteries will kill approximately 12 rats

Rat Zapper UltraProduct

Approximately 40 kills from one set of batteries

Flashing kill indicator light

Free Lifetime Tech Support at

888 DEAD RAT

Note: Gift-wrapping is not available for this item. (Amazon) NOT AVAILABLE GIFT WRAPPED?? GASP!!!!

Approximately 10 kills per battery set. (Forget it--get the Energizer for the 40 kills!!)

Operates on 4 "AA" Batteries (Not Included).

Flashing kill indicator light (you never have to see the dead rodent!).

About 30 kills with Energizer E2 Lithium batteries. Clean (no blood, no gore).

The Rat Zapper uses advanced electronic technology to deliver a deadly shock to mice and rats When the rodent goes for the food, it steps on a kill plate. The system senses the rodent's presence, the delivers enough electrical energy to quickly kill the rodent.
Optional Rat Tale(sic)

(Monitoring device) available. (When you have a dead rat, a fake tail shows up alerting you to your kill!)

Can there be a choice? 40 kills versus 12 kills? Lifetime tech support at DEADRAT??? Of course I immediately ordered my Rat Zapper from Ebay. I hope it comes with the "Tail Alert" feature!

(And here is the link if you want to try a peppermint oil concoction and very lame rat catch and release using an old toilet paper roll--I am not making this up.)

http://glass.typepad.com/journal/2005/09/how_to_catch_a_.html

Rude Roots

I ventured outside the perimeter of SeniorLand to run some errands and get my hair done. What could be more normal than this type of activity?

The beauty shop is just one room--a cozy parlor in an old Victorian house. In this room are 2 stations, 1 sink, and 2 chairs for clients to wait. In other words, if you're in the room, you are in the action!


As I waited for my operator to take me, another patron was getting pretty worked up about the recent election and doing quite a trash job on Sarah Palin. This was annoying since the atmosphere was too public for such a topic. But obviously her mama hadn't raised her right.


Inevitably I was included in this "discussion" and I was asked to agree. I piped up that in fact, I didn't agree and had voted for Sarah Palin.

The beauty shop went silent. Then the plastic-draped, red-dye dripping, wet-headed woman turned in her chair and looking straight at me demanded,

"ARE YOU DELUSIONAL???"

Well! How does one handle such a blatant attack upon one's character in public? I simply replied that I was a conservative--VERY conservative.


I didn't make any apologies and I glared back at her. Evidently she expected me to be apologetic for my views and when I wasn't, she wasn't sure how to proceed. Trying to have a political discussion--or even a free-for-all while having one's roots touched up is not the best venue.

But what is society coming to? A personal attack in the safety of one's beauty salon? One can barely cope.