One of My Favorite Websites

I don't have to blog a topic we have recently experienced! "Stuff White People Like" has summed it up perfectly.

Since Mr. T, Son of T, SIL of T and 3 grandsons recently did the male-bonding camping thing, #128 on SWPL is perfect. The only claim to fame is that the camping was done with both the trip to REI, the tent, AND the SUV and RV--conflicted to the end.

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/

A Shadow Blog by a Shadow Person

(In keeping with my internet curse, you will have to put the correct pic with the matching paragraph. Blogspot is not letting me move images around and my fuse is a hair's width from reaching C4--and I don't mean Photoshop!!)

I may only be a glimpse from another parallel reality. In any event, it has been life at the edge for too many weeks now.

To sum up:


My own version of techno-hell:

Replacing camera body--no time yet to read manual

Losing cell phone--no time to read manual but I like the hot purple color

Getting Mac--didn't even come with manual; had to order books from Amazon

Decide Mac is a cult, not an operating system and there's not a damn thing wrong with Windows with exception for Vista

Trading in Mac plus books for PC that is running some version of Windows 7--no manual

I signed up for an online class to learn Photoshop CS4. What a disaster! Things were so disorganized and I kept being told to go to my "cubby." EXCUSE ME--my grandson has a cubby. Grown-ups do not have CUBBIES. This was my same reaction to the Mac--hey, dudes! Can I get a grown up 'puter now???? Can we drop 'cutsey'? As a friend pointed out to me, the Mac is totally, like, left wing. The close box has been moved--arbitrarily to the LEFT instead of the RIGHT where it used to be. And one does not close a window--one RED balls it! Can't say I wasn't warned about lib brain invasion merely through touching the keys.

After 2 weeks, I dropped the online class. When signing up, it was pretty easy to follow the step-by-step online process and pay them my fees. But try and withdraw and get a partial refund! Oh no--I'm to find the elusive 'cubby' and then do everything on my 'puter. Except there are not links and it is not at all easy to follow. Big surprise there! I finally got a real person on the phone who wanted me to drive all the way out to campus and stand in line for a refund--no way, Sean-O. After a blustering contest, Sean-O finally walked me through the maze of clicks and links to the site where I could withdraw from the class. His parting words were, "The check is in the mail."

I had actually driven to a neighboring town to sit in on a REAL college class. I was next to 2 young students, obviously fresh out of high school. They sat through the entire 2 hour lecture without opening a textbook or taking a single note. They didn't even have paper or pen supplies! They occasionally put their heads on their books or whispered back and forth to each other. I'm too old for this!

The Techno Nightmare Writ Large

I am not the same Toc. Within two months I have had my faithful desktop PC crash and burn beyond repair or retrieval of anything on the hard drive. The POS Dell, of course, keeps limping along, backed up by Carbonite. No such luck with the desktop. For my birthday, Mr. T got me a Mac--trust me--it is NOT your daddy's Mac. I can't made heads or tails out of it.

Then my faithful Olympus camera fell out of the Jeep and shattered on the pavement. Even though I got as similar a model as I could, I am going to have to open the pages of the instruction manual. As we used to say, BUMMER.

And now the final insult--I lost my cell phone. This was the cell phone I've clung to for years. I refused to upgrade and have to sign a 2 year contract with Verizon. I wasn't going to get another cell phone--who needs one? Well, it turns out that I need one! All the time!! Off to Best Buy to stimulate the economy once again. I got the phone that resembled my old one but it doesn't really. The only thing going in the new phone's favor is that it's purple. Guess I'll be in bed with all those Verizon support folk for the next two years now.

Since I've moved so far out of my techno-comfort zone I then signed up for an online class to learn Photoshop CS4. On the Mac. Which I can barely turn on. Which looks nothing like a PC. Which is weird--sorry Users--it's weird. We shall keep you posted. How does one know what time to show up for an online class?

Some of you more astute readers might be wondering where the time will come from to play golf. Try and keep on the same page--golf is out. Racked up too many joints, tendons and soft tissue injuries. The doc has put me on the DL--at least for the next few months. At least I never got around to investing in all the ugly golf outfits.

So, for now, with both thumbs splinted and my right lower elbow trussed up like a turkey, I will try to amuse you with learning this new version of Photoshop on a computer that might as well have dropped from the planet Zenon. It's so pitiful it's almost funny.

Free Fall

We did arrive home. Have you ever been hit with so many disjunct hits on your brain that you shut down rather than try and assimilate it? I think that has been my condition since crossing the state line from Oregon to California.

As we moved closer to the Bay Area the traffic increased directly proportional to the deterioration in roads. One wonderful night spent camped at Lake Almanor in Chester didn't compensate for the crazed drivers, pot holes and unrelenting traffic.

Poor Mr. T.--we pulled into SeniorLand and his back promptly went into spasm. Writhing on the floor in pain, I quickly tried to minister to him with adult beverages, drugs and elbow massage. He spent 3 days in a semi-conscious state until the spasm abated.

We returned to find that our neighbor had died. It's like that in SeniorLand. We knew Hospice had been called inn but apparently he (conveniently) died before the end of the month and his house had been completely cleared out and the "For Rent" sign was up. How blithely we slip out of existence and onto the "next" list.

Even though I have been off the nasty cocktail for my "hot tub" lung disease, the side effects have lingered. Apparently golf had aggravated my thumb and elbow joints to point of seeking medical help. Bad news--NO MORE GOLF.

Now this is getting serious. I was getting into that game. I agree it was a pointless game but it was somewhat interesting. True, the clothes were nothing to get excited about and very difficult to accessorize--but it was still the first exercise I've ever done in my life. Well--say good-bye to the links.

But I have an idea--I could invent an entirely new personna for myself. I could devote my days to watching chick flicks and reading trash novels. Swathed in matching floral muumuu and stretch turban, a few spit curls sticking out, I could get a Pekingese lapdog and entertain lounge lizards when I start pouring cocktails beginning at noon. Pink boa slippers, changing the nail polish color everyday and cultivating the company of lounge lizards could make for interesting posts.