Encore le Menu!

The last post generated so much response in the chat room that the topic of TTF(Typical Tasteless Food) begs for a sequel.

At every dinner of my childhood, 4 slices of white bread on a serving plate graced the table.  Everyone was expected to eat one slice each. (Remember the butter and sugar?) We never had pasta of any kind. Ever.But we did have potatoes--boiled, baked and mashed. No rice--that was breakfast food.

In addition to not allowing casseroles, soups were likewise banned. But chili beans were permitted. After all, Daddy was from Texas! How we loved that dinner. We could TASTE it! Also, chili powder was added in addition to the de rigeur salt and pepper. (Did I mention that hot dogs were on the banned list and hamburgers were reserved for kids' birthdays only.)

Although it came perilously close to spaghetti(banned as was pizza) porcupine balls were another staple. Did anything taste better than that can of Del Monte tomato sauce poured over those ground round balls with the rice inside? I admit it was a bit tough going if Mama hadn't had time to cook the porcupine balls long enough to get the rice completely cooked but that was the exception.  It was only later on when I was asked if such a delicacy wasn't difficult to obtain did I catch the double meaning.

Since Daddy was a career Marine, like many military families, SOS was a regular item on the menu. We were told it stood for "Same Old Stuff" and that was close enough. Since not leaving a clean plate wasn't an option, we ate it dutifully--somehow thinking we were making a patriotic statement by choking it down. Semper Fi!

 

 I mentioned canned hominy but left out canned waxed beans. Actually if anything came in a can, it made an appearance on our dinner table--beets, brussels sprouts, asperagus, beans, lima beans, navy beans, pork and beans and even carrots. Fresh veggies were limited to tomatoes, radishes and green onions. Period. 

Please don't think we felt deprived. It was quite the opposite! We felt we were the luckiest people in the the most fortunate country in the world to have all this food just one (hand) can opener away. Even though everyone said the vegetables in the can were already cooked, they generally got a minimum of half an hour extra cooking aka BOILING just to be on the safe side.

 If entrees seemed mundane, we excelled at desserts! Back then, dessert was obligatory. I'd lick the milky SOS gravy off my plate just to get the ice cream--2 flavors, vanilla and not vanilla, store-bought cookies, Betty Crocker cake with powdered sugar frosting, brownies(good ol' Betty again), frozen pies(after we got the larger freezer in the ice box), jello(with tons of sugar) or canned fruit cocktail if Mama's bridge game ran late and she didn't have time to thaw the pie. The only dessert I could never get excited about was--I am not making this up--crumpled up soda crackers or corn bread in milk--with LOTS of sugar!

Thank you for bearing with me in this walk down meals from history. Maybe some day I will relate the ONE time Mama decided to surprise the family with stuffed bell peppers. Now--where did that new can of Cheese Whiz go?

Red Yellow and Blue Balloons Printed on the Wrapper

And where else would it be printed? On the bread? The other day cyber chat turned to the distinguishing characteristics of the Food of the Fifties. Conclusion? There weren't any. As one chatter commented, "A time when we all learned that food could be tasteless."

We had 3 seasonings at my house: salt, pepper and sugar. Yes, sugar!  But how, you may be wondering was sugar used as a seasoning? EASY! We used sugar on sour cream, cottage cheese, white bread with butter, iced tea, coffee, bananas, rice, potatoes and anything else we could think of! Salt, of course, went on everything--tomatoes, cantaloupe and even watermelon.

It was a time of canned everything. The cans held faded replicas of original food soaking in puce-colored liquid. But it was opened, heated and served and we all felt so modern. My mom wasn't slaving over the sink and stove as grandmother once had to do.

As the small 1 square foot open front freezer in the "ice box" got a bit larger, we added frozen vegetables to the family menu. Do you remember those old frozen peas and corn? The ice crystals on each kernal made it look like a variant of the H1N1 virus under a microscope. Even after cooking those frozen pellets for at least half an hour to "make sure", they were still only one grade above sawdust in flavor and texture. And how could anyone forget hominey???

My dad wouldn't allow a casserole in the house. That, he would say, was for poor folk who couldn't afford meat. And we would have meat! Meatloaf, Spam, Vienna sausages, canned ham, tough as rawhide pot roast and fried pork chops and chicken. In fact, if it couldn't be fried, it probably wasn't worth serving. Maybe that's why we never had salad until we were well into the Sixties. Can't fry lettuce--besides, that's chipmonk food anyway.

I'm getting cravings these days for Cheese Whiz--the kind that came in a jar with the little red pimentoes. Then you used the jar as a glass afterwards. Aerosol-propelled Cheese Whiz ranked right up there with Yuri Gagarin going into space as far as the Advancement of Science was concerned. Let the Russians go into oribt--we had Velveeta "cheese" and Vienna sausages! (BTW, a favorite dinner was sliced Spam with Velveeta cheese melted on the top--served with frozen mixed veggies, of course.) Eat your heart out, Sonoma cuisine!

Bedside Manner

How kosher is it for a doctor to tell his patient that the diagnosis is "you are turning into an old lady?" Harumph--is this preparation to go before the death panels in the future?

"Look at her--hands and thumbs all splinted up. Elbow bound tight. Using up perfectly good drugs. Why, she can't even look good on the golf course--perfectly useless. Matron--fetch an iceberg and send this one out to sea ASAP."

I wonder why when doctors are telling you all the things you can't do because of lumbars 1-4 and tendonitis, et cetera, they always phrase it in terms of fun things?

"Nope--no more golf for several months, I should think. Driving the RV? Wouldn't think so--not with those hands. Play the piano? Bit of a rough go with the splints and velcro holding your wrists still. Photoshop and typing? Probably not--rest those hands and arms."

Why don't they explain limitations in down-to-earth terms? I'd love to see this on a prescription pad!

"Looks like you won't be vacuuming those carpets. Forget mopping floors and wiping down counters. Cleaning toilets and carrying laundry baskets or groceries? Not a chance. Nope--not for months anyway."

But the coup de grace was being told I was turning into an OLD LADY!! This doctor seriously needs to work on his communication skills. But perhaps a little agriculture is in order--after all, he is a joint doctor.