Llife in Llano

I'm beginning to feel quite at home here in Llano. I'm enjoying the expressions I hear from the dj on the morning radio show. I will always think of gaining weight as having "blowed up bigger than Dallas!" from now on.

I overheard a conversation the other day. Roughly, it went along these lines:

1st speaker--that boy's runnin' hot
2nd speaker--I'll say he's runnin' hot
3rd speaker--wonder where he's runnin' so hot to?
4th speaker--maybe somethin' happened.

It's a very folksy way of chatting and indicative of the communal atmosphere. If you live where everyone knows what's going on and everyone is pretty much of like mind, that's how it is. Not that individuality is banned-but one doesn't want to stick out too much. Quirkiness is fine; a little diff'rent is fine; keeping outsider ways is not fine. Threatening the community is not fine. But at my age the pay-off seems wonderful.

I don't think community like that can exist past a certain number of people. At some large population, you get the option of anonymity. That allows very diverse thinking but also allows crime and unrest. It seems it also leads to distrust of outsiders. These things have always been portrayed as "rural" and "backwards" but I see the advantage now. Outsiders truly are a threat unless they conform to a certain degree. I love the absence of graffiti. I'm not worried about miscreants. It's worth it for a peaceful life and not always having to be watching your own back.

I've never taken advantage of all the things the cities have to offer-so called offer, that is. I don't like crowds. I need a lot of alone time. Here in Llano I'm not just nurturing my inner redneck, I'm discovering that I AM mostly redneck! And I don't find it bothers me one bit. These people are not losing anything-they've gained or always had what we've lost. So now we go on road trips or try wacky things to find what it could be that is lost. We've lost feeling safe and belonging. We've also lost our Christianity which is not as easily thrown off as we thought it could be. We thought we could and not suffer for it. But there is a lingering memory of truth that truly was the light of living. We know our shadows are much larger and threaten to overwhelm us with darkness. But we still move away from the light and deeper and deeper into searching the wrong way.



















Thoreau did the country a big disservice when he canonized the simple life. Just at the beginning of the cultural shift from rural to urban he wrote his nonsensical book about living in the woods as a rugged individual. It seems to be a recurring theme in any advanced culture. I'm not sure the people who had no choice but to live that simple life would have glorified it so much. (Did I really just hear a c/w song that went 'the only thing my mom and daddy did together was go their separate ways'????)How much are we fooling ourselves that we can leave our complicated lives and actually fit in and enjoy a much simpler life?















We went by a Starbucks in Austin yesterday. I almost grabbed the steering wheel out of Donald Lee's hands. He didn't even see it!!! Did I want the coffee or did I want what it represented? I think Starbucks has sold much more than expensive coffee--it's offered membership in a complicated lifestyle. When I think how much of my time in Llano has been walking around, dragging that cart with computer, camera and purse just to find a way to use band width across the river I should realize how entangled I am in a different way of living. JR doesn't want to do any yard work and I sure don't want to cook. Doesn't that kind of eliminate us from living an hour away from places where there are lots of good prepared speciality foods(and wine!) and gardeners?

Perhaps I should set a trend by writing songs that praise the complex life!

Drivin' the interstate lookin' for free wifi

Starbucks coffee an hour old

Still pickin' last night's brie outta mah teeth

Spandex shorts sure don' keep out the cold.

I can hear it now-but I don't think it would catch on. However, I continue to nourish my inner redneck. Maybe I can still make it work.

All the sentiments in the world weigh less than a single lovely action.

---James Russell Lowell