Toccata: A HALL MONITOR Finds the Secret Hide Out

I have returned with Byrdie to the secret swimming hole down at the creek about 5 times. I should have known that one of the SeniorLand HALL MONITORS would show up and try to steal my joy.

I was up on the sidewalk and Byrdie was down in the creek madly looking for her lost tennis ball. An army of squirrels could have run over her and she would not have been deterred from her search! Remember, the creek is about 15' down a steep embankment and not even visible from the walking path unless one goes off the path into the leaves and peers through brambles, branches and leaves. But along comes this woman with two dogs on leashes. She stopped a good 47' from where I was waiting for Byrdie to give up her search and begins to harangue me about leash laws, my dog was OFF the leash, she was not GOING TO MOVE ONE STEP until I leashed my dog and other intemperate mouthings off.

At first I just stared at her--was she for real? But, alas, she was. Dear Readers, what happened next is not pretty so if you need to check your email I will understand. I remind you that I had already had my ugly encounter with the HOA HALL MONITOR over the legal status of the gardeners so I was not in the mood for anymore of this bossiness. I resorted to phony astonishment over my dog not being on a leash. Then I boomed at her as loudly as I could, "Are you planning on throwing my dog's ASS IN JAIL????" This took her quite aback but her inner nastiness triumphed over her temporary startle at having been confronted. Giving as good(I thought 'better') than I got, this verbal sparring went on for a few minutes until the HALL MONITOR called me an "idiot" and stomped off--apparently overcoming her threat not to move until I had leashed my dog.

Fortunately, Byrdie remained oblivious to this woman's inanities and never did clamber up the embankment. Unfortunately, my own excellent verbal abilities probably would have me removed from the books of Junior League had anyone been taking notes.