The Rummage Sale

After a day in bed recovering, I am prepared to report on the windfall profits I reaped. It took about 4 hours to sort, sift, clean and price 5 box loads of junk--I mean recyclables. (BTW, the dictionary informs me there is no such word as 'recyclables') The morning of the Big Sale I was up early so I could be first through the doors to set up at 9 am. I only had one hour and if it weren't for the plastic wagon--with one wheel broken by the movers--I couldn't have done it. The wagon held one box at a time--so there were 5 trips from the Jeep in the parking lot to the table in the hall. I was dangerously pre-vapors by 9:30 am!

The hoardes of buyers were allowed in 10 minutes early because the organizers of the Rummage Sale obviously didn't hire the local talent (Hall Monitors) to guard the doors. Since the masses simply decided they'd waited long enough outside they just crashed the Rummage Sale and the mob ruled. The one time the Hall Monitors of SeniorLand could have done a service, they were nowhere to be found. As in life, good manners and gentility were defeated by sheer numbers of people with a mission.

There were 51 tables and I didn't get a chance to see what anyone was selling other than my immediate neighbors. For an hour and a half, I was busy wrapping up breakables and collecting my dollars. My business practice was to put ones and fives in my right pocket and everything else in my left. The surprise would come when I finally got home to add up my excessive profiteering. This was in stark contrast to a friend whose accountant husband had come to lend a hand and could give her a running tally of expenses, profit, inflation, inventory and the price of gold at any given moment.

The most amusing moment was when THREE Russians all showed up at my table at the same time. I was selling a little wooden onion dome 'made in Russia' bell. It was painted in those beautiful blues and golds and it had a little eastern cross on the top. Russian #1 asked me something in Russian and drew a blank from me--then he pointed to the ornament and asked something else. I must have still looked puzzled (I'd answered "Alaska") because he then pulled out a cross on a long chain he was wearing and began waving it. At this point the other two Russians showed up . I was catching on because I took out the cross I was wearing and began waving it at Russian #1. This inspired Russians #3 & 4 to take out their crosses and begin waving them. All this cross waving engendered such a feeling of goodwill all around that when I realized they all wanted the same item, I said I would now entertain bids on the onion dome. The cross-waving ceased and the line was drawn. Then--in a flash--the competition disappeared and they began, "No--I wouldn't think of it. You were here first. You must have it" followed by, "I couldn't possibly-- YOU were here first--it is yours." Seeing my profit evaporating, I declared the bauble SOLD to Russian #1.

A more poignant moment was the very elderly French lady who was going through the CDs I was selling. I had 2 sets of French songs and her eyes began to tear up as she read the titles. In a thick French accent she told me her happy memories of when she was a young girl in Paris. She toddled off to find her daughter and came back with a dollar to buy one of the CDs. Over the morning she returned twice to look at the remaining CD. Finally I just gave it to her, explaining that the music would make her happy whereas I was selling it because the music made me sad. I told her how my daughter had just moved to France for three years and I couldn't listen to French music right now. Those CDs found the right home.

Although the sale was supposed to last for 3 hours people were growing tired and wanted their lunches and naps. By noon, people were closing up shop and calling it a day. Two hours of heavy bartering and selling had taken its toll on me as well. I only had less than one box of inventory which I could donate simply by leaving it there. I brought home a few Homer Laughlin china pieces that I didn't want going to those who might not know what it is.

http://www.hlcca.org/

I left the Rummage Sale at 1:15 pm and by 1:30 pm was in bed with a gin and tonic, counting up the fruits of the capitialistic system that has made this country so great--past tense, I feel I must add. (I believe we have passed over into a socialistic system since the Great Taxpayer Rip-Off aka "bailout" was signed by President Bush a few weeks ago. But that's another post)

Sipping my G&T and swooning against my propped-up pillows, I counted my dollar bills. I had a grand total of ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY EIGHT DOLLARS!!! Minus my initial outlay of $10.00 for the table at the sale and totally discounting the cost of my time and energy, I had a profit of $128.00. The entertainment factor for the morning was high. The effort wasn't worth it. Next year I shall apply for government assistence to compensate me for NOT doing the work. It is the new American Way.