Swing and a Miss

I should bring you up to date with the golf undertaking. This is a very strange sport. Absolutely no one is happy with how he is playing the game! No one!

I was asked by a stranger in the parking lot how I was "hitting them." I began to reply that I'd just been at the driving range, got 4 balls in the little pitching basket ON PURPOSE and then began to notice his eyes glazing over and a puzzled expression on his face. Ah ha! He didn't really care how I had been hitting any individual golf ball--he was asking if I'd had a good golf game!

I've learned that one never answers "great game!" Acceptable answers are:
--Couldn't putt to save my life
--Need to work on those long irons
--Need to work on my short game
--Need a new putter, driver, wedge, or whatever

Thursdays there is a group golf lesson with a teacher I shall call Jimmy the Knees and on Fridays is a golf clinic with a teacher I call Johnny the Grip. They are very patient and nice but have odd ideas. Jimmy the Knees was talking about walking into standing water to hit the ball. I had to tell him that no way was I walking into water with my brand new golf shoes so what would one do instead? He did not grasp what I was trying to say. Apparently he has never considered not taking a shot.

Johnny the Grip had us all contorted in order to make some obscure shot out of sand, over a lip, around a tree, onto the green and, I assume, eventually into the hole. He said, "It's not about looking good--it's about making the shot." I nearly fainted--NOT ABOUT LOOKING GOOD??? It's always about looking good.

As far as I can tell the only fun parts about this game so far are driving the electric golf cart and the new wardrobe possibilities.