Buffalo Jam--Don't Put It On Toast

I am tired of being held captive to wacked out tree-huggers. IMHO, they have way too much say in our lives. It’s bad enough farmers in the San Joaquin are denied water to grow crops because of a useless smelt fish. But now students are being frightened of their ability to hurt a fragile earth. It approaches idolatry.

Yesterday we stopped at the big Yellowstone Visitors' Center--a very nice place, by the way. One little girl--about 8 years old--was nearly in tears. And why? Because she was UPSET that the glaciers were getting smaller!!! I suppose that some over-zealous “Earth Only” convert had told her that the bad, bad humans were making the big, beautiful glacier go away. Give me a break! Might as well tell a gnat to go easy on the Hoover Dam! Of course they're getting smaller--the last ice age is still retreating. They could hardly be growing--and if they were, we'd better start worrying about something a lot more serious than this bogus global warming the fake scientists have worked up gullible folks about.

While I was buying maps and looking for Grandma souvenirs like mugs, magnets and t-shirts, Mr. T was walking the dogs in a beautiful grassy field. BUSTED! He was lucky he didn’t get a ticket. No dogs allowed. It doesn’t matter if you have plastic bags and pooper scooper in hand, no dogs—no way. Even the pioneering work of Harvey Milk held no sway here.

We finally found a turn-out with a picnic table next to a nice river that was not official forest service land. With a whoop we whirled that Minnie into the small spot and the dogs and us were on our way to the water. Byrdie is fine in the currents and loves to swim. Talus hates the water and never did master the art of swimming. Unfortunately, a bird chose just that moment to swoop down in front of the poodle and off he went! He chased that bird and must have flown across the creek or walked across it. When he came to himself, he realized he was stuck and no amount of coaxing from us would entice him to enter the creek and swim back.

Mr. T to the rescue—he actually waded into the icy water out to the small sandbar where the poodle was stranded. He scooped him up in his arms and then waded back thru the running waters. What a guy! But Talus loses water privileges for awhile.

You didn't think I'd leave out an account of Yellowstone without a generic pic of Old Faithful, did you? Mr. T and I had become separated. I was saving front row seats and I could see him half a park away looking for me. I organized my section of seats into a yelling section and, after only one rehearsal, yelled 'MR. T.!!!" and all waved our arms.

No response. But then the section of seats to the right offered to help out so on the count of 3, about 60 people yelled and waved again: "MR. T.!!!!!!!!" This time he heard us and we were finally reunited. It was truly heartwarming to see so many different nationalities coming together to get the attention of one person. There is hope yet for world peace.

We were stuck in a mammoth traffic jam trying to exit Yellowstone. The reason for our two hour delay? A buffalo had wandered onto the road and decided to take a nap. When this happens, no one is allowed to disturb the buffalo. Say what??? I can’t yell at the critter to move it? No one can drive a big diesel-pusher up to press the lazy critter just a tad to convince it to move along? This happens with some frequency and it is called BUFFALO JAM. Pass me mah salts.

Actually, I found the entire Yellowstone experience unsettling. I think it comes down to the atmosphere that people are the intruders and not especially welcome.

Although we had reserved two days, we didn’t return to the park the 2nd day. We just hid out in the Minnie, recovering from buffalo jam, hoards of people, tense driving and poodle rescue. Sometimes a day spent doing laundry in a KOA is pretty good R&R.