To Catch a Rat

The "basement" must be cleaned out. We don't have real basements in California but it's a space under the house with a wooden floor and you can stand up in it. Over the years the boxes have done that entropy thing that junk does so well and we've noticed signs of mice--which is just a nice word for rats.

Setting a standard SNAP mouse trap is beyond my technical ability--remember the iPod??? So I thought a simple Google search might reveal if there has been a better mousetrap invented.

I discovered a new world!! One side of this world is occupied by homeopathic Rat Remedies that will only discourage our little friends to go elsewhere. The other side is populated by Rambos who take the dispatching of rats very seriously. Here is a sampling of the products I found.

Victor Electronic Rat Trap

3 plate design reduces escapes, providing a 90% kill rate

Applies 8,500 volts to kill even large rats

Green indicator light flashes for up to 24 hours indicating a kill;

Red indicator light flashes when batteries are low

One set of 4 "C" batteries will kill approximately 12 rats

Rat Zapper UltraProduct

Approximately 40 kills from one set of batteries

Flashing kill indicator light

Free Lifetime Tech Support at

888 DEAD RAT

Note: Gift-wrapping is not available for this item. (Amazon) NOT AVAILABLE GIFT WRAPPED?? GASP!!!!

Approximately 10 kills per battery set. (Forget it--get the Energizer for the 40 kills!!)

Operates on 4 "AA" Batteries (Not Included).

Flashing kill indicator light (you never have to see the dead rodent!).

About 30 kills with Energizer E2 Lithium batteries. Clean (no blood, no gore).

The Rat Zapper uses advanced electronic technology to deliver a deadly shock to mice and rats When the rodent goes for the food, it steps on a kill plate. The system senses the rodent's presence, the delivers enough electrical energy to quickly kill the rodent.
Optional Rat Tale(sic)

(Monitoring device) available. (When you have a dead rat, a fake tail shows up alerting you to your kill!)

Can there be a choice? 40 kills versus 12 kills? Lifetime tech support at DEADRAT??? Of course I immediately ordered my Rat Zapper from Ebay. I hope it comes with the "Tail Alert" feature!

(And here is the link if you want to try a peppermint oil concoction and very lame rat catch and release using an old toilet paper roll--I am not making this up.)

http://glass.typepad.com/journal/2005/09/how_to_catch_a_.html

Rude Roots

I ventured outside the perimeter of SeniorLand to run some errands and get my hair done. What could be more normal than this type of activity?

The beauty shop is just one room--a cozy parlor in an old Victorian house. In this room are 2 stations, 1 sink, and 2 chairs for clients to wait. In other words, if you're in the room, you are in the action!


As I waited for my operator to take me, another patron was getting pretty worked up about the recent election and doing quite a trash job on Sarah Palin. This was annoying since the atmosphere was too public for such a topic. But obviously her mama hadn't raised her right.


Inevitably I was included in this "discussion" and I was asked to agree. I piped up that in fact, I didn't agree and had voted for Sarah Palin.

The beauty shop went silent. Then the plastic-draped, red-dye dripping, wet-headed woman turned in her chair and looking straight at me demanded,

"ARE YOU DELUSIONAL???"

Well! How does one handle such a blatant attack upon one's character in public? I simply replied that I was a conservative--VERY conservative.


I didn't make any apologies and I glared back at her. Evidently she expected me to be apologetic for my views and when I wasn't, she wasn't sure how to proceed. Trying to have a political discussion--or even a free-for-all while having one's roots touched up is not the best venue.

But what is society coming to? A personal attack in the safety of one's beauty salon? One can barely cope.

The Rummage Sale

After a day in bed recovering, I am prepared to report on the windfall profits I reaped. It took about 4 hours to sort, sift, clean and price 5 box loads of junk--I mean recyclables. (BTW, the dictionary informs me there is no such word as 'recyclables') The morning of the Big Sale I was up early so I could be first through the doors to set up at 9 am. I only had one hour and if it weren't for the plastic wagon--with one wheel broken by the movers--I couldn't have done it. The wagon held one box at a time--so there were 5 trips from the Jeep in the parking lot to the table in the hall. I was dangerously pre-vapors by 9:30 am!

The hoardes of buyers were allowed in 10 minutes early because the organizers of the Rummage Sale obviously didn't hire the local talent (Hall Monitors) to guard the doors. Since the masses simply decided they'd waited long enough outside they just crashed the Rummage Sale and the mob ruled. The one time the Hall Monitors of SeniorLand could have done a service, they were nowhere to be found. As in life, good manners and gentility were defeated by sheer numbers of people with a mission.

There were 51 tables and I didn't get a chance to see what anyone was selling other than my immediate neighbors. For an hour and a half, I was busy wrapping up breakables and collecting my dollars. My business practice was to put ones and fives in my right pocket and everything else in my left. The surprise would come when I finally got home to add up my excessive profiteering. This was in stark contrast to a friend whose accountant husband had come to lend a hand and could give her a running tally of expenses, profit, inflation, inventory and the price of gold at any given moment.

The most amusing moment was when THREE Russians all showed up at my table at the same time. I was selling a little wooden onion dome 'made in Russia' bell. It was painted in those beautiful blues and golds and it had a little eastern cross on the top. Russian #1 asked me something in Russian and drew a blank from me--then he pointed to the ornament and asked something else. I must have still looked puzzled (I'd answered "Alaska") because he then pulled out a cross on a long chain he was wearing and began waving it. At this point the other two Russians showed up . I was catching on because I took out the cross I was wearing and began waving it at Russian #1. This inspired Russians #3 & 4 to take out their crosses and begin waving them. All this cross waving engendered such a feeling of goodwill all around that when I realized they all wanted the same item, I said I would now entertain bids on the onion dome. The cross-waving ceased and the line was drawn. Then--in a flash--the competition disappeared and they began, "No--I wouldn't think of it. You were here first. You must have it" followed by, "I couldn't possibly-- YOU were here first--it is yours." Seeing my profit evaporating, I declared the bauble SOLD to Russian #1.

A more poignant moment was the very elderly French lady who was going through the CDs I was selling. I had 2 sets of French songs and her eyes began to tear up as she read the titles. In a thick French accent she told me her happy memories of when she was a young girl in Paris. She toddled off to find her daughter and came back with a dollar to buy one of the CDs. Over the morning she returned twice to look at the remaining CD. Finally I just gave it to her, explaining that the music would make her happy whereas I was selling it because the music made me sad. I told her how my daughter had just moved to France for three years and I couldn't listen to French music right now. Those CDs found the right home.

Although the sale was supposed to last for 3 hours people were growing tired and wanted their lunches and naps. By noon, people were closing up shop and calling it a day. Two hours of heavy bartering and selling had taken its toll on me as well. I only had less than one box of inventory which I could donate simply by leaving it there. I brought home a few Homer Laughlin china pieces that I didn't want going to those who might not know what it is.

http://www.hlcca.org/

I left the Rummage Sale at 1:15 pm and by 1:30 pm was in bed with a gin and tonic, counting up the fruits of the capitialistic system that has made this country so great--past tense, I feel I must add. (I believe we have passed over into a socialistic system since the Great Taxpayer Rip-Off aka "bailout" was signed by President Bush a few weeks ago. But that's another post)

Sipping my G&T and swooning against my propped-up pillows, I counted my dollar bills. I had a grand total of ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY EIGHT DOLLARS!!! Minus my initial outlay of $10.00 for the table at the sale and totally discounting the cost of my time and energy, I had a profit of $128.00. The entertainment factor for the morning was high. The effort wasn't worth it. Next year I shall apply for government assistence to compensate me for NOT doing the work. It is the new American Way.

The Boomers Are Coming to SeniorLand

The Renovations to the new house are finally mostly complete. I think you'll see the modest remodeling we did paid off handsomely.

I overheard a conversation at the pool the other day. The two women chatting were in their 80ies.

"I saw a couple the other day."

"Buying a house?"

"Yes, on our street. It's not the first time either."

"Well, I guess we better start getting ready for them."

Turns out they were talking about Boomers! I introduced myself as a Boomer who had recently bought a house here in SeniorLand. And their response? Not "pleased to meet you" or "welcome" BUT "Do you think your generation is ever going to get your act together?"

Okay--there you have it. But--we have our first official position here in SeniorLand. We are block captains for the Emergency Preparedness Team! Now I know it's because we both drive and no one is on oxygen yet but still--there you have it.

They could not have selected a better couple. I have my apocalyptic vehicle(Trail-rated 4x4 Jeep Quadra Drive II hemi 5.7 litre engine), gas masks bought immediately after 9/11, a good supply of Cipro(stocked since the last anthrax scare), innumerable first aid kits, hand-cranked flashlights and radios, space blankets, CB radios, and a shelf's worth of survival books. I will keep you posted if we are ever called upon to assume the mantle of leadership in an emergency.

Most of the basic house updating is completed. The number of unpacked boxes is dwindling--althought it's difficult to tell from the mess in every room. The doggy door is in but not the steps so if the dogs try and use their door, they have a steep drop of about 4 feet. The labradoodle can manage it--she's just slow to remember--but the poodle can't get back in the house. Ahhhh, the learning curve between breeds has never been more obvious.

And for those of you who couldn't imagine 2 slices of garlic bread from 2005 looking still edible, here is photo evidence for you.

Okay, Okay--before I start getting the comments--this is what our house really looks like!(The other "cottage" is a winery across the street!

These are a Few of My Favorite Things----NOT

The dreaded moving day arrived and for the 15th time we got to watch all our things get “dumped” onto, into and next to our house. Boxes that had been put in storage nearly a year ago suddenly materialized. Boxes that would need unpacking! Furniture that needed to be put someplace.





We had 5 movers, one supervisor, a handyman still installing the baseboards and doggy door, carpet installers laying bedroom carpeting and Mr. T and myself with “deer in the headlights” facial expressions. Here we go again.
It took the movers from 11 am until 9:30 pm to empty the two vans. Did you know that the trucks (tractors) are expected to get ONE MILLION MILES from the engines?? Do you know a grand piano weighs 900 pounds and requires 3 men to move it—move it into the house or move it just maybe 4" more to the left? No—I mean forward—wait, 6” forward and back to the right?






When we moved to Bakersfield in 2003 I got brand-new, matching washer and dryer! They are no more—the electric dryer doesn’t work in the gas hook-up house. So—the new dryer goes up for sale and I’ll make do with the 20 year old gas dryer that came with the house. The freezer arrived moldy beyond rehab. There are now 2 refrigerators. These are little problems.






We have slept on Select Comfort Air Beds for the last 4 years. These beds are totally useless until the pumps are located! I will keep you posted.

Is it possible to unpack a kitchen and NOT line the drawers with that sticky paper with the dumb flowers? I can’t. I was imprinted too early. And why would movers pack tea cups in one box—which has been found—but pack up the saucers somewhere else? In a box that has NOT been found.

But the “OH YUCK” award goes to the bun warmer. Yes—an electric bun warmer—that contained 2 slices of garlic bread from some long-ago dinner. The bread had solidified into rock-hard plastic-like faux bread. No deterioration, no mold, no melding—just life-like petrified garlic bread.






Is there an expiration date on running away?

Singet, Singet.....

HEINRICH SCHUTZ

October 8 1585--November 6, 1672

Today is the anniversary of the birth of Heinrich Schutz--pretty close since that's the old calendar--but good enough. Schutz was one of the greatest composers who ever lived and my own personal favorite.

To please his father he got his law degree and then promptly left "Germany" for Italy to study with G. Gabriell. That was definitely a good decision for music!

You can look him up yourself although it is pointless if you don't also listen to his music. His life was long, sad, unsettled and productive. One of his most joyful compositions--The Christmas Story--was written at the end of his life when he was in his 80ies.

It does not do Western Civilization any credit that so much of his music has been lost to the mess of wars and carelessness of those who don't know treasure from trash.

Surprisingly, the Lutherans have a day during the year when 3 great protestant composers are honored: JS Bach, Handel and Schutz. Although in my heart I always felt Schutz was a secret Catholic--all that exposure in Venice to the True Faith while the True Faith still took music seriously--is a tribute to Lutherans that they still honor this superb composer.

One of his more interesting commisions must have been when Schutz composed the funeral music for Count Heinrich Posthumous Reuss, who died on December 3, 1635. Apparently it was performed so the Count could hear it while he was still on the right side of the grass--talk about your "pre-need" funeral planning!

Schutz wrote some of the most beautiful choral music the world has ever known. He was a renowned organist--none of his organ music survives. In fact, none of his instrumental music survives. This is how society treats its jewels. I wish we learned from the past.

Schutz worked most of his life(when he wasn't on the run because of the 30 Years War) in Dresden and was buried there. Nearly 300 years later that magnificent church and Schutz's bones were destroyed in the firebombing of Dresden--that completely unnecessasry, vengeful destruction of one of the jewels in the crown of Western Civilization.

Today also marks the anniversary of my own reception into the Catholic Church 23 years ago. I chose the date on purpose.

http://www.realmusic.ru/songs/418947/

And An Ordinary Life Continues.....

Back from Denver. By the second day I'd learned how to navigate the public transportation from our hotel out to National Jewish--a piece of cake! So many people take the busses and trains in Denver and it seems to work well. I never did figure out what to do with the little piece of paper the bus driver gave me but once I figured out where the fare went and where to get off the bus, the system seemed to work very efficiently.

http://portfolio.lieblein.com/projects/wheels/

The news from the doctor was good: no further lung damage. Now I play the waiting game for the lab results--it should be about 8 weeks. That is the real report card.

Going through security at Stapleton was a mess. This time we got herded into a line where they were testing a new security device. It was a little "phone booth" that blew air at you. The air was strong enough to blow my blouse nearly over my head--sort of the device used for those old cheesecake photos of starlets having their skirts blown up from sidewalk grates.

The sneaky part of this line was victims were NOT supposed to remove their shoes so this slowed the line down even more since we're all programmed to take off our shoes. So---shoes had to be put back on, into the air-hissing phone booth, out the other door, and then see if your carry on had passed security.

Once again, mine did not. I got quite the lecture--only ONE baggie allowed, ONE quart size only, and if I didn't get with the program I was going to have to watch a video on clearing security. I was so discouraged I couldn't even start singing "My Country 'Tis of Thee." Besides, when I started singing going through security in Seattle, my mother had wadded up her boarding pass and stuffed it in my mouth. No one was happy with having to unwad a damp boarding pass and touch that!

Today is October 3rd. The Congress passed the so-called bail-out bill. In my opinion, today marks the end of the United States as we thought it was. We have slid over the line into socialism and the sad part is that I think most people want it. The dream has begun morphing into the nightmare and the grand experiment is over. There is a grieving process beginning.

In this so-called economic crisis we signed escrow papers. I doubt there will be any government help in lowering our principle or our interest rates. Alas, the people have discovered they can vote themselves funds. The takers will continue to take and the politicians will continue to pillage. Watch who gets this $800 billion rip-off. It won't be you and me. No one will go to jail; no one will forfeit their gross rip-offs at taxpayers' expense; no one will be held accountable. And, even worse, no one will even feel ashamed. They might as well be Catholic bishops.

Finit.